Where Are You Going Where Have You Been

Where Are You Going Where Have You Been Book Analysis

Where Are You Going Where Have You Been Book Analysis

The story, Where Are You Going Where Have You Been, was written by Oates basically on a fifteen year old girl known as Connie. This story has generated most discussion and, most critical commentary. The story opens with a short physical description of a fifteen year old Connie in comparison to her mother. Connie a very beautiful young girl has a mentality of looking at her face in mirrors, a habit disliked by her mother. Connie new that she was beautiful that is why she always looked into the mirror to reconfirm her beauty. According to Tyson (16), the habit of bolstering the fact that she is beautiful shows how she suffers from insecurity. He describes it as failure of sustaining a feeling of one’s identity. Writers who offer essay help online at Edudorm writing service notes that Connie describes her beauty as everything to her meaning she would feel worthless without it. This insecurity makes her to be open to the will of other people and is one of the reasons she runs off Arnold Friend, a strange character whose intention for kidnapping her was not stated before; to her, she is good-looking, and so attractive for all the erroneous reasons.

Connie Insecurities in the Book, Where Are You Going Where Have You Been

Her insecurity also can be defined as a tendency of having low self esteem; a belief that you are less worth that others. Connie falls in that category that is why she allows entering into a fate. Connie’s insecurity and low self esteem leads to fear of intimacy which demands us to always remain at emotional distance with others at all times to be emotionally safe. Connie conveys fear of intimacy in many ways throughout the story. She is involved in frequent outings with boys that she even meets or the first time at the drive-in restaurant (Oates, 251). Even without further indication that she is really interested in any of them or she has ever met them before.

Theme of Intimacy in the story, Where Are You Going Where Have You Been

I agree with the critic’s view that Connie suffers from fear of intimacy because of some of the signs she exhibits. First of all, fear of intimacy can be defined as a social phobia resulting due to difficulty in forming a good and a close relationship with others. This can be indicated by looking at the existing relationship between Connie and her family members. There is no existing relationship between her with her sister. Additionally, her relationship with her friends is not consistent (Oates, 252). 

Signs of Someone with Fear of Intimacy

One of the signs of someone with fear of intimacy is that she or he is never still; you are one of the people always busy, you don’t allow having a down time. Experts who offer research essay help at Edudorm writing service indicates that this character is being observed with Connie as she is always hanging out for instance frequenting the mall.  Even her relationship with her parents describes her not being still. She manages to see her father only at supper time showing that, that is the time she can have to stay home (Oates, 250). The other sign of fear of intimacy is always being positive. Looking at the entire story in, Where Are You Going Where Have You Been, Connie has always been positive with all the men she meets. She is found of going in with boys she meets for the first time at the restaurant. Even when he meets Arnold Friend a stranger at night, she is easily convinced and enters his car. Connie always fails to defend herself with a positive response even when the need demanded.

Works Cited

Oates, Joyce Carol. “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” High Lonesome: New and Selected Stories, 1966-2006. New York: Harper Collins, 2006.

Tyson, Lois. Critical Theory Today: A User-Friendly Guide. New York: Routledge, 2006.

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